Though we’ve been homeschooling for seven years now, I occasionally think back to the time our oldest was in a private school. I feel like those were lost years, ones I can never regain, time that I can never reclaim with my child. Though we are close now, it was difficult to know him during his first grade year, as he was rather withdrawn. Having only a few hours a day together after school, it was hard to relate to his world and all that he was thinking in that deep mind of his.

Things changed as we began homeschooling him in second grade. All the feelings that lay hidden during his first grade year flooded our home. I had not realized all that he had gone through and disliked, feeling stifled and bored, waiting for school to end. It took about a year to recover from his previous school experience, though he will occasionally bring it up even now.

Would things have been different if we had homeschooled from the start? Would he have learned more? Would our family life have been different? I’m certain that it would have, though not without life’s challenges. I can’t reclaim those years now, but marvel in the young man he has become. Perhaps I have deeper feelings for him, realizing what he went through and appreciating having him home, which had not always been. I connect with him on a deeper level, watching him blossom in his own way.

Homeschooling is not without its challenges, especially as our oldest is now a teenager. Sometimes I envy those who homeschooled from the start. Life goes by so quickly, and we realize that circumstances and people are never the same, even though we may desire that at times. Now I miss the babies I once held, the pitter patter of toddler steps through the house, and the little boys I could lift in my arms. Those memories persuade me to enjoy my mothering moments, hold their hands, and hold them close to my heart, but most of all, in a changing world, teach them about the One who is always the same.

Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever. ~ Hebrews 13:8

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